'I Can Work for a Month off of One Good Compliment'

A while back, I met with a senior executive, a man at the pinnacle of his career, to talk about his role. In the course of our conversation, I gave him positive feedback about his leadership, reflecting quite specifically on how his expertise and efforts had particular impacts for his organization, its constituents and the larger community it serves. He sat quietly and looked at me. Then, he shared something that was rather unbelievable to me: He had never received any specific, positive feedback of this sort from the individual to whom he ultimately reports. Not in any context in which he has worked. Not once in his career. Thankfully, however, he has received positive feedback from his constituents and colleagues. So meaningful to him have these words of affirmation been that he has saved every single written compliment he's ever received, keeping them where he can pull them out and re-read them. I'll never forget his words to me that day: I can work for a month off of one good compliment. 

In the last several weeks, I met with an individual who is new to her organization and team. Our conversation gave us the chance to explore her unique talents and skills and how she might use them in her role and in collaborations within and beyond her new team. An extremely intelligent, hard-working, and people-smart individual, this young woman shared with me one of the things she would most want her team members to know about working with her. I'm a loop closer, she said. When I've worked on something, I want to know that it contributed to what we're trying to do. I don't want to feel like it went into a black hole. I don't need effusive praise, but I do want to know that my work has contributed to something. That's a positive motivator to me, to know that it contributed and that it was appreciated. 

From seasoned leaders to budding stars, every one of us has a need to feel valued. A need to know that our hard, excellent work has been noticed and appreciated. That what we're doing matters. Gallup's research reveals the importance of regular recognition and praise in the workplace, finding that regular praise and recognition leads to lower employee turnover, increased employee engagement, fewer accidents at work, and higher customer loyalty and satisfaction.*

Recognition matters. Not just because it's the right thing to do, but because it drives the emotions that drive motion. How we feel affects what we do and how much we want to keep doing it. And keep doing it well.

What makes for the kind of praise and recognition that is meaningful? I'm grateful to Gallup for their research, which sheds light on the three qualities that meaningful recognition has: meaningful praise and recognition is individualized, deserved, and specific.*

1. Praise and recognition should be individualized.

Let's go back to the story of the young woman who wants to know her work isn't going into a black hole. She and I had a conversation about how she likes to be recognized, and she'll have the opportunity to share this information with her manager as part of our ongoing Strengths-focused initiative in her workplace. Her manager will know that, among other things, she needs to close the loop for this new employee, making sure the new employee gets feedback on where and how her work was utilized to contribute to the overall endeavors of the team and organization. 

Tip: Ask a person how he or she likes their excellent work to be recognized.  Keep a note about what his or her answer was, and use that as your guide in the future.

2. Praise and recognition should be deserved.

With the best of intentions, leaders or managers may find themselves rotating recognition rather generally, in something like a 'staff member of the month' program. While the intentions are in the right place, let's look at how that can miss the mark. The staff member of the month may find himself in the spotlight, being acknowledged basically for just being there. He may not have any idea of what, exactly, he is being recognized for, other than for just showing up. If he's the last on the team to be named 'staff member of the month,' can you imagine how he feels? 

Instead, astute leaders and managers constantly have their eyes out for excellence and effort to be celebrated. They build a culture of recognition that is generous with praise that is deserved. Do you fear that if you do this, you will end up being too generous with praise? If so, find comfort in knowing that no one Gallup has researched has ever quit a job for receiving too much praise!

Tip: Be on the lookout for excellence and outstanding effort. Recognize the excellence and effort with praise.  

3. Praise and recognition should be specific.

Now, back to the story of the leader who can work for a month off of one good compliment. I got lucky when I spoke with this individual, as the specificity of my feedback to him was meaningful to him. It felt good to him to know how and why the work he did was perceived as valuable. 

Tip: Be specific with your praise. Discipline yourself to go beyond 'Great job!' and to call out specific things that were excellent or valuable. 

If you work in a place that doesn't have a culture of praise and recognition, I encourage you to live into Ghandi's wisdom:  Be the change that you wish to see in the world. If you were not raised with praise and recognition in your family, again, be the change that you wish to see in the world. 

Change can start with you. I challenge you, today, to give someone deserving some meaningful praise and recognition. You won't have to look far to find someone who deserves and needs affirmation.

*  Research of The Gallup Organization and accompanying insights were shared in The Best Ways to Recognize Employees, by Tom Rath, December 2004

About the photograph:  How much more powerful is it to be told by your child, Mom, thanks for teaching me how to learn and showing me how to love learning, than it is to be told, You're a great mom! The specificity feels fantastic.

For more information on Gallup's approach to Strengths, or to take the Clifton StrengthsFinder™ online, go to https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/

 

Snorkeling, Roy Spence, and Having Eyes to See

Early in our marriage while we were living and working in Houston, my husband and I took a trip to Cozumel, Mexico. Accustomed to the murky, muddy waters of Louisiana, I was excited to have the chance to swim in clear water. After snorkeling at Chankanaab National Park, I emerged from the water disappointed: What's the big deal? I didn't see that much exciting stuff. Years later, when my near-sighted self and I finally got prescription lenses for my dive mask, I made a discovery: I needed to have different lenses.

We need lenses that can help us see purpose.

As a coach working with a leader whose organization was brimming with activity and vitality, my challenge was to help her and her team clarify, in words, what purpose that social sector organization served in the world. The organization needed clarity of purpose not only for internal management and decision-making, but also to interpret the value of their impact to potential donors whom they enlist to join their efforts. 

Together with the leader and her leadership team, we leaned into the inspiration and experience of Roy Spence, who with Haley Rushing wrote It's Not What You Sell, It's What You Stand For.* Working a process, we used lenses focused on the genesis of the organization and its history. We used lenses focused on the organization's major initiatives and the who's and what's of the impacts they were generating. Using an aerial lens, we synthesized our findings and clarified that organization's purpose. Now? That organization's purpose statement has created a rising tide. Their purpose ignites passion. Their purpose provides clarity that drives decision-making and priorities. Their purpose has equipped them to attract more resources. Their purpose explains the unexplainable so they can amplify their impact. Muddy waters? Pull out an assortment of lenses and look carefully.

We need lenses that can help us see opportunity.

Sometimes, we need lenses that can help us see the opportunities in the midst of a challenge. One client, a star performer, felt discontent in her role. Her frustrations with aspects of her organization were draining her. Intentionally taking on the lens of opportunity, she looked for what she could control in the situation and focused her efforts there. Doing so, she doubled down on those areas where she could have impact, as a manager and as a person who led from her position to help her organization execute on its mission. Using the lens of talent, she focused on what she uniquely could contribute in her existing role, and she focused on the talent of the staff who report to her. Giving her talents what they needed to be energized, firing up the talents of her team, she has brought influence to the organization and expanded her impact. In the process, she found her groove. Difficulty to opportunity? We must have eyes to see.

We need lenses that help us see what is right about people.

Too loud. Not talkative enough. Always negative. A taskmaster. Overly emotional. Shy. Superficial. A loner. A packrat. Stuck in the past. A dreamer.

We hear these kinds of things said about our colleagues. And our family members. Maybe we even say them. How powerful it is to take on lenses to see the talent that is beneath the behavior, because in seeing the person through a lens of talent, we see the person's power and potential. Two colleagues who had worked with each other for over ten years each had great respect for the other, but also frustrations. Always negative, said the first about the second. Overly positive, said the second about the first. Learning about their own talents and the talents of their team, they realized they were looking at each other through the biases of their own lenses. The one who loved encouragement and positive reinforcement found the other one negative. The negative one, who was naturally cautious and prone to identify problems, saw the other person as overly optimistic. Each came to an appreciation of the other: the positive nature of one individual created energy and enthusiasm that influenced the team's collaboration and performance, while the cautious nature of the other individual helped the team identify problems and potential obstacles, a vitally necessary function for optimal team performance. Looking at each other through the lens of talents, they saw each other differently. They learned that their differences are a source of strength for their collaboration, and they intentionally leverage those differences as they collaborate. Annoying person? Look to see him or her differently.

As a coach, I help people gain clarity so they can be their best and give their best. If your view feels unclear, if the water seems murky, or if you haven't found a way to change the lenses, give me a holler. I will be happy to either help you find those new lenses or to connect you with someone who can. 

*I am eager to hear Roy Spence in Omaha, Nebraska, later this month, as I gather with colleagues from around the world at the inaugural CliftonStrengths Summit.

In Tahiti for our anniversary earlier this summer.

When we snorkled, I could see clearly.

Do you have unused or outdated eyeglasses lying around the house? Please consider donating them to the Lions Club so you can give the gift of clearer vision to someone in need. In the United States, collection boxes are located in many Walmart stores.

For more information on Gallup's approach to Strengths, or to take the Clifton StrengthsFinder™ online, go to https://www.gallupstrengthscenter.com/